THIS IS NEVER-ENDING

Today was the worst pain I have ever had constantly (even with natural childbirth there are breaks between contractions/pushing)...my mind and body are exhausted of this kidney stuff...

Yesterday I was feeling better for a little bit. Went grocery shopping even. I was off narcotics and just taking ibuprofen and pyridium for the burning sensation when peeing (due to the stent). I fed Lucas, gave him a bath and put him to bed. I cleaned up all the toys and clothes and trash. I gave Olivia a bath and fed her as she fell asleep. Got the dishes soaking in hot water to wash. And then suddenly at around 10:30pm I started not feeling well.

It felt like all the bending over was aggravating the stent in my kidney. I figured I would leave the dishes and go lay down and read. The pain got stronger and by 11:00pm, I was very sick. It's hard to describe to anyone who hasn't had flank pain, but it felt like someone had a hold of my right kidney from behind and were squeezing and twisting it constantly. I could not find a comfortable position to relieve the pain and was never going to get to sleep.

In order to take the heavy stuff (hydromorphone) I had to get somethign in my stomach, which is the last thing I felt like doing. But I came downstairs and grabbed some crackers and took the pill with as much water as I could keep down. I was nauseated from the pain.

I decided I would hold out til 11:30pm to call the urologist on call because I had already called him everyday since the surgery. The pain intensified. I crawled into my closet to make the call so as not to wake Olivia. The doctor said

"There's not much I can do to relieve your pain right now. You just don't tolerate stents very well. The best I can do is schedule the stent removal for tomorrow morning and if your pain gets worse tonight, go to the ER for a shot."

I hung up the phone and said I would come in tomorrow morning for the procedure. I was reeling in pain, which felt like the reflux pain but it was no longer just after peeing; it was constant. Actually it only seemed to be briefly helped (a tiny bit) if I kept moving. And I was exhausted. I went downstairs to ask my kidney expert friend and try to find answers as to what it could be.

After some research, I deduced that my stent must be blocked. Sometimes blood clots block the stent and your kidney gets more and more backed up with urine (especially when you're downing as much water as you can...) and the swelling causes intense pain and nausea, and sometimes permanent damage.

I emailed John at his work and pleaded for him to come home and help me. I was going to drive myself to the ER if the pain didn't stop. John wrote and called around 1:00am, and said he was coming home. After 2 hours the pain finally subsided. I took a very long pee, and saw the chunks of blood that had clogged the tube. I am so tired of doctors leaving their jobs (and the pain) to me.

John came home and we slept 4 hours before getting up and driving to the Hospital in Hampton (the doctor on call only works there, not here in Williamsburg). I was prepped for outpatient surgery to remove the tube. Scared and cold. The nurse uses a turkey baster thing to inject lidocaine in my peehole, not a total anesthetic; I still felt everything. Doc acts like it's nothing. Sticks the scope in as I watch on the screen. No bladder problems. He uses a springy coil grabbing instrument to grip the curly end of the stent, and pulls...it's the wierdest feeling to have that curly tube be pulled from your kidney, through your sore ureter, into your bladder and finally out your urethra:


I was expecting immediate relief of all pain. Wrong. It wasn't really strong, but my kidney started aching again, and my urethra burned a little. I went pee and there was a little blood which was expected. The doc went over the fact that I need to be drinking more water. He warned that there might be burning when I pee for 24-48 hours after, which is controllable with pyridium/oxybutin.

Felt pretty good, ready to go home and forget about all this. Schedule my follow up appt with my doctor in Williamsburg and find out what my stone was made of so as to know what diet I will have to be on for the rest of my life. I already know I have a few stones in each kidney still, so I am terrified to have to endure this again. It is affecting whether or not I want to have more kids...it's hard on your kidneys.

Halfway home, my kidney pain went from 4 to 8 really fast. I had keep manuevering in the car but couldn't relieve it. I told John to take me directly to the Williamsburg ER...The pain was so horrible. Got worse with each breath. I was crying, praying aloud, begging John to drive faster. Why was there traffic at 10am? Why did we hit a bunch of red lights? Why were people actually driving the speed limit today?

I ran in the ER crying and they finally admitted me. My blood pressure at the height of my pain was 120/100. I was crying and couldn't breath normally, snot everywhere. They took me to a room, gave me a gown, I immediately stripped crying for pain medications please...I couldn't control my actions. I was on the hospital bed naked with a hospital gown barely on, on my knees hunched over, moaning and crying..(of course John says he thoroughly "enjoyed" watching all this, if you know what i mean..so selfish). They asked me a barrage of the same questions, did an IV, gave me nausea meds, checked my breathing. Then the doctor comes in and I have to explain everything over...the procedure last friday, the pain over the weekend, the catheter, the xrays, the blood clot, the stent removal this morning...and this is the first time I quickly (no-hesitation) said TEN!!!!!! when asked the 1- 10 pain scale.
After the meds finally came, i shut up and tried to sleep:


They finally injected that dilaudid stuff which gave me a burning sensation and made me dizzy, but the pain started to fade. Never quite erased it though. A few times the pain creeped back up to a 6 (so you can imagine how bad it wouldve been without pain meds). They took an xray, which predictably revealed nothing because the 7mm stone didnt even show up in an xray (its not made of calcium). But I have already had too many CT scans which emit lots of cancer-causing radiation. They took a pee sample which had some blood in it. No stones, but I am pretty sure I am (or was) passing stone fragments in my sore kidney/ureter. I couldn't believe I had to suffer an excruciating pain for the surgery, removal and stent placement for 4 days, and now I still have to feel how much worse it is to actually pass a stone.

I am so exhausted and need to sleep. My pee is dark with blood, kidney pain is there but about a 2 or 3. John has to work tomorrow so I hope I can get by with the pain meds I have. I see my doctor tomorrow afternoon and I am sure he will say some jerkoff thing like "oh yeah, thats all common." They don't care. I want to know whats wrong with me. I am thinking I might have a chronic kidney stone producing condition like cystinuria. I need a nutritionist to tell me what my life long diet will be. I just wanted my whole kidney taken out today. I hope this is as bad as it will get. Today was really really bad. Really. If this happens on a regular basis, I foresee myself like House; addicted to painkillers.