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A Little Frustrated

Well, we got back the results for Lucas' bilirubin and they ARE still high. For how old he is now, the levels should be very low, like .2 to 1 and yesterday it was 8. The nurse that called didn't really give me any information, other then it may be due to my breastmilk but I can keep feeding him...I don't get it. I am worried because prolonged periods with high levels can cause brain damage, and I want to know WHY his levels are high, because I suspect there is a hereditary problem or a blood incompatibility etc.

It sucks because I felt like the only problems with breastfeeding were latching on, and your supply. Since I have an abundance and Lucas was feeding well (he is now 11 lbs 13 oz), I thought we were in the clear. Now the problem might be MY breastmilk, and we may have to at least supplement with formula. I just told John on the phone (he is on his way home) and as I predicted he is (passive-aggressively) mad at me because he doesn't want to have to pay for formula. I guess he thinks it's just me trying to get out of it, and he doesn't see that Lucas is not well. From what I've read about other moms with jaundiced babies that are past 1 month of age, they stopped breastfeeding or supplemented with formula and the levels came down.My doctor seems to think I can keep breastfeeding, but I am beginning to have doubts about him, since I was the one that diagnosed the thrush, and I was the one that pointed out his yellow eyes. Lucas very suddenly started getting worse last night; he was fussy and his diaper rash was worse. I bought some 'butt paste' that the nurse told me about--it hasn't worked yet. He hates taking the gross medicine 4 times a day which has to coat his tongue--but he spits it up. The thrush is also causing excessive (and painful) gas.

I don't know what to do about the jaundice, but the doctor is going to check his levels again in 2 weeks, which is also when he gets his vaccinations for 2 months. I am scared about the vaccinations because a friend of mine has been giving me information about the immunizations possibilities of triggering autism. I am going to look over what information the doctor gave me also, but if we do them all, we may just spread them out so there is not so much at once, since she also told me there is mercury in them, in legal ammounts for each immunization, but all together it adds up to quite a bit.

SO, I am unsure what to do. I at least got a bill straightened out with Tricare, but now they are trying to make Lucas go to Fort Eustis (the closest military treatment facility) instead of the williamsburg civilian doctor I already have for him. Military care is more often than not, very crappy--basically it's like socialized healthcare, which this country may be heading towards anyway...

Let's hope we see some improvement in his thrush in the next few days, and that Lucas can keep his doctor, but most of all, that his jaundice is only temporary and that I can still breastfeed. And if there is another underlying problem, please let it be found and treated quickly.

Lucas looks like Jim Norton

look at him...all ready for his interview
I don't know if anyone else sees it, but especially in these pictures, I really think Lucas resembles Jim Norton the comedian. I know Jim Norton probably looks like a baby because of his bald chubby head, but even Lucas' expression looks like Norton:

These are the best pics I could find...do you see it? Hopefully Lucas turns out to be better looking than Norton when he grows up! lol.

Doctor Appointments

I had my 6 week post-partum checkup this morning and it went very well. Susan stayed home and watched Lucas while I drove down to Newport News to my OBGYN. I saw the midwife (Dr. Walkenhorst) today and she hadn't seen me since my prenatal appt a week before Lucas was born so she said, "so what all happened since your last appt?" And I told her how I labored at home and was 7 cm when I got to the hospital and that I did it without an epidural; she was amazed and very proud! She checked me out and said, "wow it doesn't even look like you even had a baby!" So I guess we're good in that department :).
But I did have concerns about Lucas and the possibility of him having thrush. It was a fluke how I found it though because I was looking up on the internet why I might have sudden strong pain in my breasts, when for all this time that I have been nursing/pumping, I haven't had any pain. Then there was this site about yeast and how it can be passed back and forth from baby to mom, and that babies have white spots in their mouths/tongues, and that they are more fussy than usual, excessively gassy, and won't always feed well. While Lucas does eat well, he from time to time seemed to get picky with the bottle nipples and would cry and push them out. From the info on Thrush that I saw, they said the white on the tongue can be confused for milk, but it won't wipe away and if you do scrub it off, it will bleed. I gently tried to get it off with a q-tip and it wouldn't. So I made the appointment with Dr. Rauchwarg today.

He was extra fussy today, but the doctor looked in his mouth and immediately did diagnose it as thrush. I have to go get his prescription for nystatin tonight. But while I was at the doctor, I also asked him about his whites of his eyes still looking yellow. The doctor agreed and decided to get some blood tests done again for his bilirubin (from his jaundice). I hope it's not jaundice still because it has been a long time and can cause brain damage. But I hope it's not something worse like an underlying disease causing the yellowing of the eyes. AGH! So much to worry about--everyone thinks I am paranoid, but it many times turns out I am right about my "webmd" diagnoses. So Lucas had to get his foot pricked again today and he screamed for a while. The test results will be back tomorrow so I hope for the best. I just want him to be happy and feel better. Sometimes it's almost like he is trying to be happy but he feels pain and cries. He is sleeping for now so I better go wash and pump, but here are some pictures of him from todays appt in his 'formal wear' lol:


You can see his white tongue from the thrush:


Hopefully this medicine will work fast.

Lucas is 6 weeks today

This video was of him with his beloved lullaby soother. We replaced the batteries today and the screen still doesn't scroll. I looked up product reviews and I guess it's a common problem--which sucks because I know my friend Jackie spent a lot of money on it, and it's a good brand; Baby Einstein. So, he won't be content for as long as he used to when we lay him down for a minute, but his initial response in the video is adorable!

AND I swear he was trying to talk to me today--he was trying to say "Hi" back to me when I said it a lot earlier. He was really trying for a while to make some kind of noise with his mouth and then it really sounded like he did say 'hi'---well at least, his mother will think he did for now :)

It also snowed yesterday out of nowhere--big chunks, but they didn't stick since it was nearly 50 degrees. I am waiting for my package of photos I ordered on walmart.com/photo-- I got all different size prints of all my recent digital camera pictures, simply by uploading them to the walmart website. It's very convenient and cheap and they will be arriving in the next few days. I hope my pictures look sharp and at least semi-professional!

Also, tomorrow is my 6 wk post partum checkup appt...kinda nervous about that. And I also scheduled an appt for Lucas because I think he may have a condition called Thrush, which is basically yeast..he has what I initially thought was milk stuck to his tongue and roof of his mouth, but considering the pain in my breast (when for the past few weeks they have been painless) and that he is excessively gassy and sometimes fussy with the bottle nipples, I am going to get it checked to be safe. I hope the doctor gets something that will alleviate the pain for him if it is thrush. Will update this when I know!

John's Mom Sent This!

It's pretty much true, except there are a few more jackasses I would add to it--especially Pelosi. Harry Reid too--or as Limbaugh calls him, Dingy Harry.

"WE GOT YOUR MONEY

GONNA SPEND YOUR MONEY

GONNA PRINT SOME MORE MONEY"



(can any of you guys guess what movie the actual scene is from?)

This is why...

the elephant is the Republican symbol:



My friend Shawna sent this to me and I had to share. Amazing how smart they are-hopefully they are treated well.

Happy Birthday Sarah

My eldest sibling Sarah is 31 years young today, February 20th.
Here is a picture I found that you might like:
I hope you enjoy your birthday! (even though you probably can't have cake until Saturday lol)

Tagged by Sarah: Top Ten D's

I was tagged by Sarah to list 10 things I like starting with the letter 'D'. She listed 10 things starting with 'C', so the next people I tag will have list 10 things they like starting with 'E'. I tag everyone reading this who has a blog (and if you don't have one, make one).
1. Donuts/Danishes
2. Dachshunds
3. Dobros (metal resonator for guitars)
4. Decongestants right now (john gave me another cold...just when I was getting over one.)
5. Deductions (tax) :)
6. Democracy
7. Dr. Laura
8. Dane Cook
9. Dick Morris
10. David Bowie

Kind of boring, I tried to be more interesting, but I think 'D' was a sucky letter for me. Good luck with 'E' everyone!

I Want to Move to North Dakota

The North Dakota House has approved a measure today, giving human rights to fertilized human eggs. Doesn't that seem like a no-brainer? read the full article here

To quote Gary Graham in the afore-mentioned article:

I’ve heard it argued that a fetus is not a baby because it could not survive outside the womb on its own. But what about three-day old baby? Or even a two week old baby? If you set it down on the floor and leave it alone…will it survive on its own? Or will it die? So what’s the cut-off for determining whether it’s a baby or not?

It really comes down to this: when does life begin? When is it a baby? At the point of conception? First trimester? Third? At the point of actual delivery? When the umbilical cord is cut? Two weeks afterward? When?

I’m telling you, once you draw that line and say this is the moment it’s a human being…you’ve lost the argument. Because it’s arbitrary. On this date it’s a baby, but yesterday it was just a bunch of cells…this blob of a nothing and you can do anything you want with it, it’s okay. Babies have been born premature in the second trimester and lived. Happens all the time.

And I heard Governor Mike Huckabee (who I voted for in the primaries) recently say in an interview that the abortion issue really comes down to whether or not a person can legally OWN another person. And that's why the comparison to slavery is so poignant; assuming either that a fetus' (fetus- latin for'offspring') life would be a waste, or that the 'mother' (impregnated woman) has the 'right to choose' to murder because the fetus is in her body, is literally claiming ownership of another person, with a whole different set of DNA.

Technological/scientific advancements have not always turned out to be good for humankind; they have led to atrocities like in-vitro fertilization which many times fertilizes many eggs, and selects the strongest and either kills/freezes the rest for unnecessary and fruitless experiments like embryonic stem cell research (which still happens, although supposedly not with federal funding). And even if embryonic stem cell research proved to help with symptoms of such diseases as diabetes and parkinson's, how backward is it, to use and destroy life, for the mere possibility of slightly improving anothers? doesn't that seem counterproductive?

So, good job North Dakota. I am sure many people will think giving human rights to fertilized human eggs is ridiculous--like respected 'ethicist' Peter Singer does...who would rather grant human rights to monkeys. Seriously.

Article from Stop the ACLU

One of Obama's main fundraisers:

"Planned Parenthood Covers Up Abuse--and this time it's not Lila Rose"

Good Job Obama-lovers. Change is here. And Nancy Pelosi thinks giving even MORE money to these crazy murderers will "stimulate the economy." What is this country turning into!?

Supergrass

Well, John is home and is taking a nap with Lucas before we go to the park, so I don't have any new pictures yet--but I wanted to share this music video I found recently that I liked.

John took me to see Radiohead back in 2003 in San Diego, CA and this band Supergrass opened for them. I really liked them so I bought the album "Life On Other Planets" for my sister Susan. I decided this week to check out their other albums, and I like this song called "Mary". The video is kinda creepy, in fact it was banned from TV for being "too frightening" in some parts so the televised one is the same, except during the scary scenes they put a picture of onions (lol) with the words "scene missing." (You can see that one here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LMratQA2qNE) Kinda funny.

Enjoy the original:

Lucas is 1 month old

Here's some new video of him and his smiling:


John hasn't gotten to see him smile yet, so these should be really fun for him to see. He is supposedly coming home some time tomorrow, but as usual there is more disappointing news; they may be going out again next month for 3 weeks, and again in April for a few days. These past few days weren't too bad, but I know John misses us and wants to see Lucas' smiling and even his pooping face. He is pretty big already- I believe close to 11 pounds! He outgrew some of his clothes, which now give him diaper-camel-toe. His next appointment in March will be when he gets his first shots--I am scared about how he will do...and how I will do seeing him cry in pain!

Bush Update

I haven't heard from John since Thursday, but it looks like all went as planned according to this article I found today:



First sea trials a success; Bush scheduled for April deliveryBy PETER FROST

NAVAL STATION NORFOLK — - Just after 1:30 p.m. Monday, the USS George H.W. Bush aircraft carrier returned to Hampton Roads harbor with a broom hoisted on its giant mast, signaling a "clean sweep" for the ship's first round of sea trials.

After a three-day testing period conducted off the Virginia and North Carolina coast, a Northrop Grumman Shipbuilding official said the $6.26 billion Newport News-built warship performed "exceptionally well, with no major problems."

With builder's trials complete and successful, the Bush is on track to undergo its final round of trials, called acceptance trials, within "a few weeks," and be ready for delivery to the Navy in April, said Ken Mahler, Northrop's vice president of Navy programs, from aboard the ship.

"Delivery will probably be in the April time frame. It looks like it will be agreed to, but the Navy will be the one to ultimately decide," he said.

So John unfortunately has watch today, so hopefully I will get to pick him up tomorrow. I miss you so much!!!

cheetee cheetee bahng bahng

funny video I found on youtube:

Happy Valentine's Day

Norman watched Lucas while I did some cleaning and he started smiling a lot so Norman got a few pictures of him. He likes Norman.* But he also has been smiling a lot when he's not crying. My mom got a big smile from him yesterday when she took him outside. He has been smiling when I call him 'farty party pants' because he toots so much!


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I took Lucas to the park once again today, with my brother Norman. Lucas slept this time all the way til the end on the way back, when he started crying so I fed him. Then he just stared at me with his pooping face, (his mouth makes the "ooooooh" shape) and I heard a long reving noise that I didn't immediately identify as his fart lol. The park looks pretty dull this time of year, but pretty soon everything will start blooming and get colorful. We did see some birds today, but nothing like the bald eagle from yesterday. We saw cardinals, bluejays, bluebirds, woodpeckers,chicadees, and apparently there were quail too.

Here is a sign for New Quarter Park, that talked about how in the 1600's when Williamsburg not Richmond, was the capital, Queens Creek (the water in the pictures) connected the York River to Williamsburg and many ship brought in goods right through this same area. Pretty cool to think about and it probably doesn't look that different.


And Norman found this hunk of fresh dead meat--probably a squirrel:



But nothing that cool this time, other than the fact that when I got back to my car, this note was on my window shield:

I don't know who it was, because there were many people there today with their dogs...I guess it just brightened up my day a little because I have been feeling so sick and ugly and still have lots of "pregnancy weight" I'd like to lose. I am very flattered--he must have thought I was some lonely single mom taking my baby for a walk on valentine's day lol. Can't wait to brag about it to John when he gets home on Tuesday!

Have YOU Ever Seen a (formerly) Endangered Species in the Wild?

Kathleen joined Lucas and I on our 3 mile walk through New Quarter Park yesterday. It was a little colder than last time, which made it easier and quicker, and Lucas stayed wide awake for most of it--check out his wide-eyed face:



Every time I go, he gets more and more interested and aware of his surroundings. He even smiles at the trees. Well, on the way back to the car, we saw a bunch of turkey vultures in the trees and I somewhat jokingly said, "Don't poop on us," as we almost walked under them....when a bunch of red stuff plopped down in front of us! Apparently they were eating something they just found, and the guts were falling down splattering on the pavement before us! Pretty gross.




Well, we observed them for a while, as more and more came in to share in the goods, when we noticed one of them stood out from the rest:




Pretty freaking cool huh!? Bald Eagles are so stoic and cool looking- i can see how they have become such a sacred symbol to American culture. Hopefully we will continue to see cool animals on our park walks. Norman will be joining me today on the walk so wish us luck!

Photo Editing Fun

I've been messing around with this photo-editor program (GIMP) in my free time and wanted to show the few I worked on. It's a free program to download, so I reccommend trying it out- it's fun! It's really 'technical' but there are some good tutorials to learn how to use different filters/layers etc.

Before

This is Alex from last summer when we first started game night. He is getting sleepy on his favorite pillow with his bunny, named "killer." lol. (Jim named it*)

After

I tried to use this vignette effect to make it a spotlight on his face, changed the color and contrast levels, and added little sparkles on his eyes. I like it.

Before

This is my niece Rocky. She is starting kindergarten this year, but she is definitely ahead for her age.

After

It took a while to learn how to use duplicate layers to get both b & w and color. And then I used my favorite filter, softglow.

Before

This is a picture of Susan and Rocky at Disneyland last August.

After

This is a fun but scary distorting tool, called 'Iwarp'. Kinda fun to check out--you can also make yourself look thinner/fatter..still perfecting that one lol.

Before

This is a before of John holding Lucas on one of his quick visits home.

After

I like how the softglow made him look porcelain.

Before

This was at the New Quarter Park--John's first time holding Lucas in the Snugli* cute huh?

After

I used the 'emboss' effect- I wanna put this on a coin and make 'luca' the new currency lol.

Before

I love when he makes this face.

After

kinda scary no?


Thats all for now!

"Hi Baby Lucas!"

A few days ago when Susan and I took Lucas to the park on the trail we walk, he gave me a genuine big grin that even seemed like he was laughing (not gas lol) and I was so sad we didn't get it on tape. Well, today Lucas woke up from a nap, pooped, farted, I changed him and he seemed really happy and playful. He let out a big burp and I took him downstairs and got the camera quickly. Here is what I got. The smile in the beginning melted me! And the rest seems like he is trying to communicate and say something to me. It was very rewarding today.*

Really well-written article

Everyone should read this--especially men. I can't believe how well-written it is and how this guy covered almost every issue regarding abortion. His name is Gary Graham and he is an actor, best known for his roles in the show J.A.G. and Star Trek. It's a great read:
flashpoint-a-womans-right-to-choose

Dr. Laura on The Octuplet Mom

This is from Dr. Laura's blog and I appreciate it:

Disgusted with Octuplet Mom
February 9, 2009 on 7:30 am
I am writing this blog on Nadya Suleman, octuplet mom, under duress. I was told that a significant number of you wished for my point of view or comments on this occurrence. My answer was, “Do I really have to comment on the obvious?”

I am disgusted with this woman for being educated in child developmental psychology and still intentionally robbing children of a dad (she had in-vitro fertilization with embryos from sperm donor) and the opportunity to get the kind of attention one out of fourteen children clearly won’t get.

I’m disgusted with the clinic and physicians who, knowing she already had six children and no husband or reasonable means of support (except for workman’s comp lawsuits), and frankly, must be somewhat emotionally troubled, still impregnated her with multiple embryos — more than the recommended number for a woman under the age of 35.

I’m disgusted with the media for making a big deal about these freak situations without proper judgment and criticism and for starting programs for “freebee” bailouts with charitable support.

I’m disgusted with Child Protective Services which I don’t think has even considered taking these children away from this self-avowed baby-mill and placing them up for adoption into two-parent households, with a married mom and dad.

Every Mother’s Day my psyche is assaulted with front page stories coast-to-coast about unwed mothers’ joy and glee and Mother-of-the-Year Awards to celebrity moms who clearly put their careers before their children (bless those who are “nannied!”).

So - this blog is in honor of and directed to the women who do it right: get married to good man who can support a family; wait until they’re settled and have the emotional where-with-all to sacrifice in order to receive the huge rewards of mothering their own children.

I’m sorry the media doesn’t care about you…but your husband, your children, Dr. Laura, and a society grateful for the wonderful human beings you raise do care about you.

Sunday at the Park

Mom, Norman, Lucas and I went to the New Quarter Park yesterday since the weather was so nice- it was 70 degrees. We took Lucas in the stroller for a while, and then I decided to try out my little carrier thing that Shawna gave me. The whole point of going to the park was to try to keep Lucas awake during the day so he would sleep better at night, and he ended up sleeping the whole time against my chest. We walked 3 miles total, all the way to the water of the York River. Not a lot of cool wildlife yet, it's not quite warm enough and it wasn't the right time of day, but I think I will make the park a regular thing so I can get some exercise and Lucas and I can both get some vitamin D.



Lucas really liked this carrier; I guess it's similar to being in the womb again since he's right against me.

Norman just got this skateboard and is re-learning some of the tricks he used to do. I am sure I will get better pictures of him skating after he's practiced for a while.


Norman stayed back at the courts while mom and I walked to the water. He ended up meeting up with a friend from his tennis group.

These are my mom's white feet; she uses self-tanner on her legs lol.


There were lots of cool plants and trees, no animals this time. This was some kind of fern.

Here is some sage--it smells alright, but I don't like how it smells when people burn it (like incense).

This is holly, and holly berries. There were a lot of these.