Wow-A decade ago...

Me back in 2000/2001. I was so scared and young. I can't believe how small my boobs were! Although, they are small now, just a little lower than they used to be! lol.

Susan just reminded me of this video I was in for a second back in 2001. I remember it was just before my senior yr, and right before 9/11 happened. I was with a local modeling agency and was cast as an extra in a music video for Jacob Young's debut as an artist. He is an actor on various Soap Operas. The video was filmed where I am from in Littlerock/Lake L.A. California. Makes me miss the desert, and being 16. If you watch the video, I am actually a part of the band lol..I do a "maraca" solo next to the drummer for 2 whole seconds lol. I am on the left, at about 2:31. I'm such a good dancer huh? :) It was really fun. On the breaks I got to play Jacob's nice Martin acoustic. Steve Kiser (my agent..ooh that makes me feel special!) told me after the shoot that Jacob "took a liking" to me. I thought maybe it was possible I could go out with him, yeah I was 16. I did make $300 shaking those things...the maracas I mean.



And later in my senior year, I was cast as an extra in a Jennifer Lopez music video shot in Castaic, CA called "I'm Real." I chose not to do it because I was taking an expensive (waste of $70) English AP test on the morning of the shoot. What a bad choice! lol. I did pass the test, but I obviously never used it as college credit. I wish I would've done the video...looks fun huh? :

Jennifer Lopez looked so young back then..almost 10 years ago! Now she's had 2 kids and got all fat. No just kidding--that's me :)

Saltines

I made this xtranormal for your viewing pleasure:

Another Fun Marriage Survey

John and I took one of these a year ago, and we surprisingly really enjoyed comparing each other's answers and learning more about each other. I was looking for another interesting survey but most of them had some boring/dumb questions like "what's their favorite color?" so I basically gathered the best from a bunch of surveys.
Do them with your spouse--it's good for your relationship I swear!
Samantha's answers John's answers
1.) Do you wish your spouse would be more masculine/feminine?
Yeah, sometimes I want John to be more assertive, and confident. Even arrogant like he used to be in high school! I guess that may have been what attracted me to him.
Feminine.
2.) Have you ever been so mad at your spouse, that you wanted to hit them?
Yes! I did hit him with the remote once..and he bruises easily lol. The only time I've wanted to recently, was when I wake up from a bad dream about him cheating on me! Right when I wake up I want to strangle him. But I don't :)
Yes, that's why we have holes in the headboard and a wall at ourold place.
3.) In comparison to friends and family, rate your marriage 1-10 (10 being the highest):
10--I am really happy in our marriage, and wish I could help others by our example sometimes. Is that snooty?
Can I go higher than 10? Because it is.
4.) What has been one of the better changes you have seen in comparing your spouse before and after getting married?
The respect he learned to show for me, and of course his immediate assumption of financial responsibilities/being responsible for me. Feeling taken care of and protected. United.
Sex!
5.) Is your spouse a good parent?
Yes, and I know we will both make compromises as far as what we want L + O to do/have as they get older. (i.e. chores, tvs/allowance etc) He is sometimes more loving to them than I am...he honestly has a better temper most of the time.
Best mommy ever.
6.) Do you think it's possible to "fall out of love?"
This is hard to answer. I don't want to discount others who say they were in love, and lost it, but as far as I can tell, I will never stop loving John. I think the initial attraction and feelings have to be secured/established with the commitments, sacrifices and shared goals you strive for and attain. Once that groundwork is made, provided it is legitimately worked toward together, I don't think you 'fall out of love.'
Not with that hottie.
7.) What is one of your pet peeve's that your spouse sometimes does?
His touchy-pod sometimes annoys me because I bought it for him to use at work, but that's not too often. hmm.. He started rinsing all his dishes. So I guess maybe the standard clothes not in the hamper. Used to be his constant napping, but he's been better about that too. I like most times when he touches me, but I get annoyed if his nails scratch my jeans...wierd, but it's the "nails on a chalkboard" effect for me.
She always wants to take a bath before we "go to bed"...
8.) In what area is your spouse most demanding?
He is very frugal with money, (so am I) but he would never tell me I can't buy something. So I guess he is most demanding affectionate-wise...and that's not a problem!
My attention.
9.) If you could give them any characteristic what would it be?
Pride in his job, family, and self.
She is perfect the way she is.
10.) Do you think they look best when they try, or when they don't?
When he tries. I don't like when he shaves his head, I like when he fixes his hair, or even when he wears a cap (rarely), I like him without glasses. I haven't seen him dressed up in a while, but he will be interviewing soon, so it will be fun to see him in a suit. His uniform was cute though too...
I like her either way, but when she tries she is phenomenal.
11.) When looking at your finances, how do you feel about your spouse?
Happy and grateful, but I also feel pressure to save more, and guilt when buying frivolous (albeit cheap) things.
She is better at not spending money than I am.
12.) When looking at your finances, how do you think your spouse feels?
he probably feels worried because he is the provider, but also very hopeful and optimistic about what we can do. he's a good financial planner.
Like I know what im doing...?
13.) Do you think your spouse is proud of you?
Yes, and I hope he isn't too scared to tell me if I need to work on something more.
Yeah I'm pretty sure
14.) Name a funny memory you have of a time your spouse really laughed hard?
Okay, I think I already told the one about when I was folding laundry and said 'aw man, my pants shrunk'while holding up Lucas' pants lol..he loved that for some reason, I guess because he wasn't expecting it. But just recently on our road trip home from MA, I was taking pictures in the car. He was telling me he showed a picture of me to a co-worker and they said he "married up", and so I took a really ugly/funny picture and said, 'yeah? well, you should show them this one..' and he almost peed and crashed the car lol...and NO i will not post it...it's really ugly! I hesitated showing it to John, but it was just too funny not to!
I sat on a salad enough said...or when I wanted to thank "a vet" (note-he saw a bumper sticker that said, "enjoy your freedom? thank a vet" and said "why would you thank a veterinarian?" and wasn't joking! I laughed and then said, "wait, you're serious?!"
15.) Would you defend your spouse if criticized?
For sure.
Yeah but I know shethinks I don't or wouldn't...
16.) When is the last time you remember seeing your spouse cry?
wow...been a while. I think when my dad died in 2005, and I asked him to think about if it was his dad.
I thinkit was like a month and half ago, in bed, I held my baby close thatnight.
(hmm...trying to remember what happened?)
17.) In what ways is your spouse typical of their gender?
Sex, sports, hygiene.
Soft features.
18.) In what ways is your spouse atypical of their gender?
he likes latch-hook work lol. He demands Charmin TP. Doesn't care for music/concerts too much. passive-aggressive sometimes...
Huge feet
19.) If your spouse died, do you see yourself remarrying in the future?
don't make me think about it..i don't know how i'd go on living but I would focus on L + O, so no I don't see myself remarrying.
No, I don't think it would happen.
20.) Does your spouse usually fulfill their obligations?
Well, they change since he's out to sea, but he's always provided for us. As far as the manly things like yardwork, repairs, bbq-ing, usually. If he's home long enough.
Except whenshe is in extreme pain.
21.) Do you think they always will?
Yes I do, and I think he will do even more when he gets out of the Navy.
Yes, there is no doubt in my mind...
22.) Do you like surprising your spouse with gifts?
i love to, but mostly with non-monetary thing. Except for the touchy-pod---I actually grew enough balls to drop $200 on it for him without his knowledge, but he was happy!
Yeah, but im ashitty gift giver, Samantha is way better.

I can only speak for myself, but these little separations make me look at our marriage objectively and therefore, feel more in love and appreciative of John. It makes me want to work harder as his wife.
This honest interaction through emailing this survey to each other is an alright substitute for real interaction while he's gone. As John says, I am pretty needy of his attention! Thanks for reading :) And thank you Johnny for your compliments and your honesty----Love, Bigfoot lol.

What Is Going On With My Poopy Babies!

They keep on having messy poops...it's still in the AM and they have pooped 3 times, and very messy...Lucas' looked like he barfed in his diaper...and of course it's squishing our the top of the diaper...while I run to get wipers/diapers and a towel, he leans up against the couch whining (he hates having his diaper changed) and gets his mess on the couch cover I JUST washed...Callie can vouch for me--she helpd me put it on last night. Then I put Olivia on her belly, and she poops and it all goes forward out the front of her diaper onto her outfit..I cleaned them all up and put this dress on Olivia---aren't they cute together? She is sitting up better and better!



She was playing like she has a little farmer's mart stand:





Lucas obeyed me when I said "go sit down by Olivia," but wouldn't give her a hug or kiss yet..She loves Lucas :)


But I guess I shouldn't be surprised about Lucas....he had a big banana just before bed last night, and today already ate:applejacks (the green ones first!) a waffle, milk, grapes, some pepperoni, and some mango--which he now loves!

Curious

I bought Applejacks for Lucas because they were on sale for $1.89 at the commissary. Well, he likes them, but every time he has them I notice something peculiar...he eats the green ones first! So funny. At least he's not colorblind right?

I went back on my word...

I wanted to grow my hair out real long, but I gave in to the pressure and cut it today. It had grown so much and was long actually, but I wasn't liking it, and it was damaged. Plus, if any of you have had even 1 baby, you shed hair for so long it's crazy! Every time I washed or brushed my hair, so much hair would be in my hands or on the floor (or clogging the drain...) that I could make a wig! Another reason I cut my hair, is that I have lost weight; shorter hair makes your face look fatter (to me). Since I have lost some of my double chins, I thought it the right time. I went to a salon called 'Bubbles' here in Williamsburg and paid a lot for a professional cut. I finally got the inverted bob that I've wanted. I might have preferred it shorter in the back, but I am happy. She had to take 2 hours doing it because I have thick hair and it's a difficult cut. She was only 23, but she did very well! Here's to my new mom haircut:

To John

a real deep message for you:

you can eat crackers in my bed. I guess some people find that exciting :)

Water Park

I took the babies for our morning walk at NQP (~2 miles), but it was miserable even at 9:30am. The humidity makes it feel like you are walking through jello. I don't know if that was the best analogy, but there are record high temps out here, and the humidity adds another 10 degrees to how it feels. Pushing that stroller back up that path was pretty tough, and I felt bad for the babies who were sweating a lot, even though they weren't in the sun--and they didn't get to feel any of the few breezes that helped cool me off.

But we came back had snacks, they had their nap, and then grandma came over. We went to fort eustis to take Lucas to the park they have with the water fountains to play in. He loved it again! Olivia played a little, but she can't quite sit up on her own without falling constantly, so I held her. John says he misses his babies, so my mom took some pictures for him. 11 more days daddy!

My Cuties

I took the babies to the other park this morning. The park that has all the fun stuff to play on, but since it was just me with both of them, I didn't allow Lucas to run around play, for fear of not being able to control them both on my own. But I walked them on the track that goes around outside the park. We walked almost 1.5 miles, but it was way too hot and Olivia was red, sweaty and crying. I tried to keep her cool and shaded, and gave Lucas his water and a banana. A dad was teaching his daughter to ride her bike and saw the double stroller and said, "ah two for the price of one huh?" realizing he must be talking about the babies and not my spectacular rack (yeah, kidding) I said, "nope! they're both full price." :)


Lucas fell asleep on the ride home, but wouldn't take his nap when I came home and put him down. He got all red and snotty and wanted me to hold him. I felt bad and paranoid about him reacting to the vaccine, so I allowed him to bring his pacifier and blankie downstairs for a little while...(I only allow them in his crib..) I got this cute picture of him rubbing his "lamby" on his cheek. And you know I noticed when he rubs his blankie corner in his eye, he actually rubs his eyeball, not the lid! Wierdo.

And Olivia was in a funny mood tonight when I fed her..she used to be afraid of my wierd noises, but she laughs the hardest i've ever heard her laugh without being tickled! So cute.

I LOVE THIS GIRL!

I was about to go to bed, but you all HAVE to watch this video. It's kinda long, but it's the first time I actually felt bad for Kirsten Powers. She is wrong on all counts and she knows it...but she had to keep being interviewed. Megyn shows no mercy!

I have expressed my love for Megyn Kelly before, but mang! this girl's has balls!

Lucas Shot Reaction

Lucas had his 18 month visit yesterday. I have him on the 1983 vaccination schedule which is a fraction of the ones on the 2010 list. He had his 4th (of 5 total til age ~6 yrs) DtaP shot, and polio. His doctor doesn't agree with my limiting his vaccinations, and it's a point of contention between us. All I can say, is that neither of us can prove to the other that we are right, but since Lucas is my child, this is the best decision for me. I don't think my doctor (or most doctors) have bad intentions, or even most pharmaceutical companies. But there is no questioning the odd ingredients in vaccines, and that there have been vaccine-injured/damaged children. And there is also no telling how any one child, with their pre-dispositions and genetic make-up, will react to any amount of the vaccines. After researching the affects of the diseases we are vaccinating against, I have personally deduced that I would rather deal with treating a well-known (and treatable) condition, than risk an adverse/permanent reaction to the chemicals/ingredients in the vaccines, which in my opinion have not been studied enough.
Yes, I know this is a broken record to most that regularly read my blog, but that little disclaimer is for newcomers.
Well, I am grateful our doctor still agrees to treat us, as some doctors won't or they require non-vaccinating parents to sign waivers. But I can tell it's an issue in our patient-doctor relationship in which he has me labeled as a paranoid kook etc.
This morning I noticed Lucas had a pretty bad swollen red rash where he had his Dtap shot:
And I called, and they asked me to bring him in. Of course it was a useless visit, and they said the "knot" is expected with dtap, but to "keep an eye" on the redness. it has gotten bigger and bulging tonight. He doesn't have any other symptoms as of yet, and no fever so I am not too concerned. But it looks painful and is hot. I hope he doesn't get a fever. I have read too many stories of parents with kids who have adverse reactions to shots (specifically dtap /MMR) and their kids have high fevers, and 'jerking' movements which later are recognized as seizures.
These were from tonight--seems a little worse:


I think Lucas will be fine, but it's an issue I am still unsure about. I tried to explain to the doctor that I know I am going to ultimately be the one responsible, whether he gets sick with an illness that could've been prevented with vaccination, OR if he gets sick as a result of a reaction to the vaccines. It's a scary thing to think about when it's your child.

A Hodge Update

Susan and I took the babies to the theater this morning. They show free (older) movies for kids on tues/weds mornings to help get kids used to theaters. We watched some movie I never heard of called "Space Chimps" and after initially being scared of how loud and dark it was, Lucas sat quietly on my lap with his grapes, crackers and water and payed attention to a whole hour of this dumb movie! I was proud of him and thinking when John comes home in 2 weeks, we will take him to this:

We went out and saw the fountain, which Lucas saw as a pool and whined to get into it lol. We left soonafter--it was already humid.


Then he had his 18 mo appt. He had 2 shots according to his 1983 schedule. He is in the 95th percentile for weight to height ratio. Healthy and wasn't as scared of the doctor this time. He was a good boy even after his shots, which he screamed during and looked at me like "get them off me!" But he recovered quickly and is fine.

There have been some changes going on in our house and I haven't really thought about them til tonight. John left yesterday for 2 weeks, so I keep busy with readying the house for rental, and packing our things. I take care of the babies with pretty much the same routine daily, but I realize I treat them both as if they aren't getting any older. Olivia is half a year old...I treat her the same as when she was 3 months lol. But she is strong and alert and interested. And smart---it takes brains to realize how funny it is when Lucas dances or falls or babbles. She is also turning over both from tummy to back and back to tummy. She laughs and smiles and puts her sharp tongue out at me all day, in between her still-annoying cries for food or attention. She is pushing in the walker some too. She and Lucas take their baths together nightly and she is entertained by him and all the toys.


Olivia had her 6 month appt last friday and at 18 lbs, she is in the 80th percentile for weight. She's healthy and strong. She had 2 shots according to the 1983 schedule she is on. She cried a little, but bounced right back to smiles pretty quickly. At the appt, I told the Dr (who is also my dr) that I came to him 2 months ago with flank pain and that I did in fact end up having multiple stones---he initially wanted to send me home to drink water...I insisted on a CT which he consented to. He said, "oh yeah, i saw that you had a stent put in." I am wondering why he didn't call or anything being my primary dr...and why he acted like he was right all along, when BOTH doctors doubted my pain was my kidneys as I said. ("there's like a 5% chance this pain is a stone..." then after the 7 mm stone was found, "your pain has to be musculoskeletal, not your kidneys.." "there's a 50/50 chance it will pass.." then after they did the cystoscopy, "that stone never would've passed--it was embedded in your ureter.." ) So I asked him if he would at least get me the results of my stone sample taken during surgery to tell me what is causing them...he says "sure"..well, there is no test results to be found because they never took a sample... Great--thats why my urologist never returned my calls...because they didn't even do what they were supposed to. Even he gave me a pamphlet on what diet to go on according to your stone composition...So disappointing to be paying more to see civilian drs (instead of military) and to get such crappy care.


Anyway, back to the babies. I put the travel crib up in Lucas' room and for the past 2 nights have had Olivia sleep in the travel crib in Lucas room, across from his crib where he sleeps. They surprisingly have done well--even when she gets up for a bottle at night, Lucas has stayed asleep. They get up a little earlier, and I had to bring Olivia back in my room late last night, but for the most part it works and I don't have to be so quiet when I go to bed or even turn over in bed. I am thankful for them to be growing up and adjusting to each other's constant company so well.


Lucas is getting so big and smart, despite not fully forming words yet. He I think senses that when Dada leaves, it's for a while. He notices a pattern and has withdrawals like me. Yesterday morning he took Olivia's blankie and pacifier and put it in his mouth! Then all day today he kept crawling in her bouncy chair. He wants to be babied too. I had 2 contractors come over to give estimates on some renovations we have to have done in the downstairs bath (in order to be rented) and Lucas was so excited to have these men over! He wasn't as shy as usual--big smiles and saying 'hi' and 'bye'.


Although recently I have lost my temper a lot with the babies, I am very happy to be home with them and to share the job of raising them with the man I love. It's feeling less and less appropriate to call them 'the babies'...they are getting older and demand more and more attention and interaction to stimulate their growing brains. And their freaking diapers and getting fuller too! I am praying for the patience to keep them happy and healthy and to be able to balance all the house/move prepping with the mommy duties I have. This house has to be on the market for rent in 4 months...this transition is going to be so much more complicated since we have babies...and everything depends on unknown things. Like I always say though, in 8 months, it won't matter because we will always be together :)


Speaking of which, I was helping John put together a resume highlighting his Navy experience and we sent it to this agency I would like to reccommend for ex-military. It's called "Bradly Morris Inc" and they basically work for Fortune 500 companies in finding candidates with valuable military experience to interview for them. Their services are free. We submitted his resume and references so we hope to hear from some companies soon. There are opportunities all across the U.S., so we put in our preferences. One of John's friends who has had the same amount of experience as a Nuclear electrician, was hired through Bradley Morris by a company called Airproducts, and they offered him $74,000 starting right off the bat, without any schooling etc. And that doesn't include overtime, which a fellow employee said amounted to >$120,000 for him his first year! We are hopeful for a good job, but scared of the unknown that is getting out of the military. John is soooo excited to get a real job and to interview-- I am proud of him already. I am so unsure of how the next year will look, but I fully trust in John to provide for us. Thank you John. *

Black Power

Some background for those that don't know--most media won't talk about this story but it should bother you. It seems our government no longer has any checks or balances, and definitely isn't looking out for all of it's citizens. There are deals going on that none of us are aware of. This administration has more power than ever, all because of race. Because most American's are too afraid of being called 'racist' when they strive for true equality.

Back on election day November 2008, the New Black Panther Party (not to be confused with the older Black Panthers, who espouse the same beliefs, but for some reason won't be affiliated with the NBPP) sent out members to 'defend' polling places in Philadelphia. Basically they were sent to ensure that black voters wouldn't be "attacked by the KKK", which didn't happen. Two members of the NBPP flashed their billy club and intimidated people from voting unless they were electing the "black man".

The men blocking the polling place, and the NBPP were charged with violating civil rights and voter intimidation. The defendents never showed up in Federal court, and there was more than sufficient evidence (and witnesses) proving voter intimidation so the case was easily won. However, AFTER the case was won, it was brought before Obama's DOJ Attorney General Eric Holder, who ultimately decided to throw the case out. They decided not to charge the NBPP with affiliation to the crime, and the only punishment was that the man brandishing the night stick couldn't enter that polling place until 2012...hmmm..I wonder what happens that year?

That same man, "King Samir Shabazz," is the racist a-hole shouting hateful words in this video:

Megyn Kelly broke the story this month when she interviewed J. Christian Adams, who has become the 'whistle-blower' for this amazingly frustrating story. He was supervized by Christopher Coates, a DOJ official and former ACLU lawyer. Coates, who worked on the case against NBPP, was basically forced to step down and wasn't allowed to testify before U.S. Civil Rights Commission Hearing regarding the case. He left the crooked DOJ saying:

"America is increasingly a multiracial, multiethnic, and multicultural society. For such a diverse group of people to be able to live and function together in a democratic society, there have to be certain common standards that we are bound by and that protect us all. ... For the Department of Justice to enforce the Voting Rights Act only to protect members of certain minority groups breaches the fundamental guarantee of equal protection. ..."

Looks like "Civil Rights" is now limited to the rights of blacks, or betteryet, democratic-voting blacks (as blacks who weren't voting for Obama were threatened as well). No one seems to care. DOJ Attorney General Holder was just interviewed by CBS for 30 minutes...NOT ONE question about the NBPP case he threw out.
Watch this video and tell me the members' actions in Philly were not affiliated with the sentiment of the NBPP chair:

Here that? You can be "too black" and "too strong". He never denounces King Samir's actions/statements as racist. Because he feels the same way about 'crackas' and 'hook-nose bagel-eating jews.'
And for fun, listen to what he has to say about the great Osama Bin Laden:

Teresa's 7th bday party

Lucas had to spoil the picture..

Our neighbor's Matt & Maria's daughter Teresa had a birthday today--lots of good food and fun for the kids..while they lasted...

Last day- leaving MA

Here are some pictures from the last morning in Abington, and on the road. I love taking trips with John. It makes me feel like a real grown-up :) Thanks for spoiling us daddy.
And thanks to the Cullum's for all their hospitality the whole weekend! Hope to see ya again soon!



I thought this was a funny picture--Lucas apparently didn't want to leave:

Some Good Donuts:

Lunch at Burger King in Connecticut I think?

Isn't this picture funny? He was enjoying Jonas Brothers and threw this gang sign at me lol:

I had an argument with John over whether or not this was the Empire state building and the Chrysler building in NYC etc...he didn't think it was because we were in Newark---I was right!

We stopped for dinner in New Brunswick, NJ for "Stuff Yer Face" Pizza and Stromboli; it was on Man v Food :)

Very good actually--we had to eat quick since Lucas was being a wiener.


Check it out: Olivia is really concerned for John's cholesterol!



Lucas didn't fall back asleep for the whole last half of the drive...I think it took about 14 hours!

Pretty sunset on the Delaware bridge: